Are you familiar with the sense
of self loathing and contempt?
Things you thought you could achieve
because all you want is what you think you need
A promise of a better life
full of friends and the partner of your dreams
Dreams of acceptance without concern
The clean slate you can't help but burn
It's not real, yes, this much I know
I can see, now that I'm in this black hole
I fooled myself this entire time
to find a little peace of mind
On impulse I chased all I thought I'd need
False friendships and make-belief
I made the same mistakes again
and it's too late to redeem myself
Year after year, when the summer dies
I'm still the same person I thought I could leave behind
Every new day, a piece of me forgets
my life's based on mistakes and regrets
There's a blue jay pecking
on the window at night
He's drenched in the honey
reminiscing of an oil spill
"I'm so stupid", "I'm so full of it"
I can't breathe, what's wrong with me?
I've been here before , why can't I let it go?
It's eating at me, this sweet make-belief
I'm sure I can't be blamed
My condition is a sickness like any other
Year after year, when the summer dies
I'm still the same person I thought I could leave behind
Every new day, a piece of me forgets
my life's based on mistakes and regrets
There's a blue jay pecking
on the window at night
He's drenched in the honey
reminiscing of an oil spill
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